SeleneByMarialyn

I’ve spent so much time educating myself on how to help regulate my children and set them up for success that I overlooked a very important member of our family:

Me.

We are a family where ADHD runs strong. My kids have hammock swings, yoga balls for deep pressure, a calming corner with weighted stuffies, and activities to help soothe their nervous systems.

But the thing they probably need most is a regulated mother.

And on that front, I have struggled.

I’ve tried. I really have. But I am especially prone to sensory overload. Loud noises and multiple streams of sensory input at once are two of my biggest triggers—which, conveniently, are also two things children absolutely excel at. Lol.

I say that lightheartedly because it’s no one’s fault. We are all wired the way we are. But it has become abundantly clear that I need to get better at regulating myself so that I can help them regulate too.

And what better way to start than to practice what I preach?

I’ve tried saying the thing out loud. Reminding myself that I’m safe. Taking breaths. Walking away. Running through all the little strategies we’re told to use when our nervous systems are screaming at us.

The list goes on.

But you know what I haven’t done?

Actually created an environment designed to help me regulate.

And that, my friends, has changed.

Mama’s Cozy Corner

Is it going to work?

I have absolutely no idea.

But there’s really no way to know unless I give it a go.

I try my best to reuse things we already have, so I started by moving two of our living room chairs into our sunroom. I gave an abandoned vegetable bin a makeover and repurposed it to hold my supplies.

But I also need that dopamine hit, so you know I got some new shit too.

Don’t judge me. Ha.

When this wild idea of Mama’s Cozy Corner popped into my head, I started thinking about what I would actually need there.

What would help me when I felt overwhelmed?

What could I reach for instead of trying to white-knuckle my way through overstimulation? Because we all know that’s not working.

What would make me want to use the space?

So I brainstormed a few ideas and headed to Five Below to see what I could score.

You guys already know I have craft supplies galore, but my work desk and my cozy corner are on different levels of the house. I knew that if I constantly had to gather supplies and haul them downstairs, I wasn’t going to do it.

The whole point was to make regulation easier—not give myself another task.

So here’s what ended up in my corner:

• Notebook: For brain dumps. The easiest way for me to free up brain space is to get everything out of my head and onto paper.
• Burn book: Because sometimes I need to be a little destructive to take the intensity down a notch.
• Sketchbook: For the moments when I can’t put what I’m feeling into words.
• Prompted journal: I don’t want to write about whatever is dysregulating me. I want something completely unrelated to focus on and help move my brain somewhere else.
• Adult coloring book: Coloring is a simple, calming task.
• Puzzle book: It requires just enough concentration to activate a different part of my brain.
• Sour candy: It provides a different sensory experience when my brain needs something to interrupt the overwhelm.
• Cozy sweater: Something soft to curl up in and feel safe.
• Bluetooth radio: Music has always been a part of my life, and sometimes it’s exactly what I need.
• Art supplies: Because I need the supplies to actually use half of the things above.
• Plants: Greenery makes everything feel calmer and helps me feel connected to nature.
• Dopamine decor: I didn’t want this to feel like a sterile little therapy corner. I wanted it to feel like me. A space that perks me up just by being in it.
• Visual timer: This one might actually be the most important. It’s not really for me—it’s for the kids. The timer gives them a tangible way to track when I will be available again outside of an emergency situation.

And maybe that last part is actually the biggest experiment of all.

It’s crazy to me that I’ve never thought about creating something like this before. Or maybe my kids were simply too young for me to implement it successfully.

I honestly don’t know.

I do predict this will be a difficult transition for them.

I have always been accessible.

Always.

And maybe that has been part of the problem.

Maybe the reason I feel so empty is because I have been constantly pouring into their cups without stopping to refill my own.

Maybe I should have established stronger boundaries earlier. Maybe I couldn’t have. Maybe we’re finally ready.

I honestly couldn’t tell you.

We’re all trying to do the best we can for our kids with the tools and information we have at the time. Raising kids isn’t for the faint of heart. Add neurodivergence on all fronts and, well…

Extra fun.

But I’m really excited about this little experiment.

Not because I think a cozy sweater, a book, and some candy are magically going to regulate me. They aren’t.

But creating a physical space for myself sends a message I’ve been very good at sending to my children and not nearly as good at giving myself:

You’re overwhelmed. You need a minute. Here are some things that might help.

My kids deserve a mom who knows when she needs to reset—and who doesn’t feel ashamed to say that out loud.

So I’m going to give Mama’s Cozy Corner a try, and I’ll bring you guys along for the experiment—the glows, the grows, and probably some wild tales of dysregulation as we figure this all out.

But figure it out we will.

And even if this ends up being an exercise in futility, at least I haven’t given up.